The Runaways

Actresses Kristen Stewart (R) and Dakota Fanning

Mar 5 - Alice in Wonderland
Don’t be late for this important date!  Of the hundreds of movies that are released each year, Tim Burton is one of the few directors that you actually know the name of and can name about five of his movies off the top of your head.  Another name that is associated with his movies is Johnny Depp and Burton’s squeeze, Helena Bonham Carter.  In his movies the scenery itself is one of the most talked about ‘characters’ of the films.  Alice in Wonderland is no different.  Burton recreates the already peculiar world of Wonderland and adds a touch of his own dementianated mind.  Yeah, I just made up a word.  Burton isn’t the only one with creativity.  –Although this isn’t a remake, I know a few people still whining that the original ‘Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory’ was better than Tim Burton’s version.  I have a feeling that I’ll have to hear the same complaints or see some ‘will this pickle…’ Facebook groups referencing this version.  At least we can watch it in 3D!

Mar 5 - Brooklyn’s Finest
I like me a good cop movie.  I don’t like knowing that there’s corruption in the ranks of law enforcement.  Brooklyn’s Finest explores the lives of a few cops on New York’s streets.  Eddie (Richard Gere) is a burned out veteran one week from retirement.  He’s definitely not putting his life on the line if he doesn’t have to; instead spending his time sipping coffee and ignoring the crimes going on around him.  Narcotics officer Sal Procida (Ethan Hawke) spends his life crossing the line to share a better life for his sick wife and seven kids.  Also on the roster is Clarence Tango Butler (Don Cheadle) who has been undercover so long, he may be forgetting he’s actually a cop.  The characters are set.  All I need is a little Wesley Snipes and I’ll be in the theater watching… My wish is granted.

Mar 12 - Green Zone
Thankfully, this movie is not about polar ice caps, global warming or the ozone.  Not that I don’t care about that stuff — I just don’t want to think about drowning while I’m doing important things like watching a movie.  Instead it’s about the other ‘overused’ phrase of the decade… Weapons of Mass Destruction.  Say what you want about Matt Damon’s acting but he seems to do a good job in this flick as a government operative sneaking around foreign countries.  From the same director who brought us the ‘Bourne’ series, we now have another movie that reminds us to that if you work for the government and unearth a cover up, the government will kill you!

Mar 12 - Remember Me
Two people I don’t really care to see much more of is Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart of the Twilight series… and as it turns out they are both in feature films this month.  A troubled teen (Pattinson) without much of a future goes out of his way to help break up a fight, somehow getting himself a beat-down from a cop and a trip to the slammer in the process.  It gets better.  He starts dating the cop’s daughter; Claire from LOST.  She makes this movie somewhat watchable.  Well, that and Pierce Brosnan.

Mar 12 - She’s Out of My League
Remember the movie Fan Boys?  How about Sex Drive?  Those should be two movies you watch before you go see this movie… Jay Baruchel (Windows from Fan Boys), with the help from the creators of Sex Drive, shows us how a guy who is a 5 can land a chick who’s a solid 10.  Fate, and Steve Jobs, bring this waste of a guy and total fox (Alice Eve) together by way of a lost iPhone. I watched the trailer 3 times because of Weezer’s ‘If You Want Me To’ song and it has some funny one liners that I hope isn’t all it offers.

Mar 12 - Our Family Wedding
A feud between Forest Whitaker and Carlos Mencia, the man who’s towing Whitaker’s car, becomes complicated when they later find that their children are getting married.  This has a plot weaker than an old Sanford & Son episode.  For the sake of comedy, the two families, with completely different cultural backgrounds, come together to plan a wedding that everyone can be happy with.  It’s not about the bride and groom in this movie. The fathers exchange cultural and racial stereotypical jokes throughout the flick that are almost offensive yet well played in this atmosphere.

Mar 19 - The Bounty Hunter
Over the hill actress Jennifer Aniston, and everybody’s favorite Scott, Gerard Butler team up for a love based comedy.  Aniston, a reporter, carelessly skips out on her court date because she doesn’t feel she should have even been arrested.  Butler is a bounty hunter who has to track her down and take her to jail.  The twist is that they used to be married.  We have all the right makings for a lame romantic comedy!  During the trip to the lockup, some bad boys from Jersey chase the duo down to try to kill Aniston because of a story she’s working on involving a murder cover up.  What starts off as a comedy quickly turns action movie involving shoot outs and car chases.  I’m not sure if I like Gerard Butler in a comedy.  Unless he yells ‘This is Sparta!’ while driving past a barrage of bullets.

Mar 19 - Diary of a Wimpy Kid
I may be the only person that finds this interesting, but Steve Zahn is in this movie, and was also in the Management (Jennifer Aniston).  Anyway, if you write a great book and it’s a top seller then you should make a movie about it regardless.  This movie doesn’t really look all that great for us adults.  It’s more for wimpy kids heading to middle school, which is exactly what it’s about.  It probably would have worked better as a series on Nickelodeon or Disney.  Middle school can be pretty bad, especially when your mom goes out of her way to embarrass you and then makes you keep a diary about your daily trials.

Mar 19 - The Runaways
I’m a little sad that Dakota Fanning is growing up.  I liked her a lot more when she was an innocent 9 year old and now she’s in a movie portraying Cherie Currie.  Kristen Stewart on the other hand plays Joan Jett and Stella Maeve plays Sandy West as we go back to 1975 and see the all-female rock band The Runaways tear this world apart.  It may turn out to be a great movie and you get to watch some rock’n’roll babes break chairs.

Mar 19 - The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
Not everything from Sweden is blonde and hot.  This movie isn’t either.  It’s based on a Swedish crime novel of the same name who’s author suddenly died in 2004 and left behind several unfinished novels including Dragon Tattoo. The movie is about a girl gone missing 40 years ago on an island whose body was never found.  Her uncle suspects it was a murder; possibly by a member of a dysfunctional family living on the island.  He hires a journalist and a computer hacker to investigate.  Looks like a good flick and, with the novel selling over 8 million copies worldwide, it should be able bring in a little moolah.

Mar 19 - Repo Men
We’re all familiar with the repo man.  Imagine a future where more people survive by getting artificial organs implanted.  What will happen when you fall behind on your payments for that?  Well, they’ll come and repossess your organs.  Creepy, I know.  Their only job is to get the organ back.  No anesthetic, no sleeping gas, just a set of knives.  I like the idea of replaceable organs but I would definitely fall behind on my payments.  Not worth it.

Mar 26 - How to Train Your Dragon
It’s time for another high quality animated film from DreamWorks with the help from Jay Baruchel and America Ferrera on the character voices.  Jonah Hill even joins the fun. Want your own dragon?  This movie will show you and the kids how to train it.  And guess what?  Dragon is in 3D, too!  Coming from the makers of Shrek and Madagascar, it looks like a great comedy!  Watch for the Avatar-like flying scene.

Mar 26 - Greenberg
Finding himself at a mid-life crossroads, Greenburg, played by Ben Stiller, wants to change his life and do something meaningful; like building a dog house for his brother’s family.  Along his journey of finding purpose and rekindling old relationships (we could have ended this plot in 2 minutes with Facebook), he meets an attractive young woman who happens to be his brother’s personal assistant.  But she, not wanting to jump back into a physical relationship, keeps him on a short leash while making him suffer through the beginning “no sex” stage of their relationship.  Why watch the trailer?  Let’s just say she’s not wearing all of her undergarments and its cold in the room.

Mar 26 - I Love You Phillip Morris
Ok, so you either love Jim Carrey or you hate him.  I’ve been a fan of his since Fire Marshall Bill on ‘In Living Color’.  Carrey plays a God-fearing, wife-loving, society-contributing Christian with a big secret.  He’s gay. He leaves his family to explore his sexuality and finds he can’t sustain living the high life through conventional forms of employment.  He comes to the conclusion that he can make more money from exploiting people and scamming them than working a real job.  This lands him in a Texas jail where he falls in love with his cellmate.  As long as you can handle Mr. Carrey sharing an onscreen kiss with Ewan McGregor, then make sure you see this movie.  Based on a true story.

Mar 26 - Hot Tub Time Machine
See previous page that highlights the drinking and debauchery which takes place! Check out our whole Hot Tub Time Machine review.

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