College Sucks
I’ve paid my dues —
more than $115,000, to be exact. I’ve sat through many classes where I wanted to take down every word the professor was saying. But I’ve sat through just as many classes (and endured plenty of people) I didn’t care two hoots about. In the spirit of the semester winding down and summer on its way, I think I’m entitled to a no-holds-barred rant. Here’s a quick look at why sometimes school just, well, sucks:
Bad drivers. I don’t know what it is, but somehow it seems like every other driver near campus is absolutely terrible. Maybe it’s just because it’s a
concentrated area of drivers but whatever the case, please get it together. There was one day where someone almost turned into my car and two different people almost took me out as I was walking across the street. I spent the rest of the day inside my house, fearing for my life. I know there’s always that awkward moment when you’re staring at each other, wondering whose turn it is to go, but when I’m halfway across the crosswalk you’ve already forfeited your turn.
Campus crawlers. The fact that you’re walking 0.00025 miles per hour clearly indicates you either a) are on your way to the dining hall or b) don’t give a flying flip about getting to class on time. Either way, you’re acting as a roadblock (literally, a non-moving roadblock) and making me late to class. Hop to it.
People who don’t know how to dress for the weather. I understand it’s northeastern Ohio and the weather changes hourly, but it’s called Weather.com. Check it before you walk outside in the morning. Maybe then you’ll stop wearing flip-flops when it’s snowing. And those of you wearing Uggs with your shorts? A Facebook group I joined recently says it best: “You don’t look hot, you look like a weather-confused slut.”
People who don’t know how to dress, period. Yes, most of us are dragging our butts to class on four hours of sleep. It’s still not an excuse to wear your red silk pajamas to English lit class. Sorry. And as for you, with the Oompa-Loompa orange tan and wearing that lemon yellow sundress over a black bra: If I wanted to go lingerie shopping, I would have gone to Victoria’s Secret instead of heading to class.
Professors who think their class is the only thing you have going on in your life. Honestly, I think it’s great that you want us to learn as much as possible. Go ahead — give us more bang for our buck. But whatever you do, don’t give us enough homework to keep us busy until the next class. You may think all students do is drink and start riots, but some of us actually go to our other five classes and — wait for it — have part-time jobs. Yes, jobs, plural. That’s how I’m paying to be in your class in the first place. So next time you think it’s a good idea to combine Exams 2 and 3 for finals week, thus giving me four exams on Wednesday, reconsider. (And yes, one of my professors tried to pull this stunt. I wouldn’t have it.)
Frat boys in my architecture class. Turn your hats around and stop asking the same questions twenty times. ‘Nuff said.
So that about sums it up. I’m going to take this summer to work on my internship and my tan. The rest of you can take the summer to work on this list. I expect better from you when I return for my final semester in the fall.